Make It Sexy

Sexiness has always been something that I felt eluded me. Sure, I think I’m attractive—cute, sometimes…hot, if I’m at the right bar. But, sexy? Not the first adjective I’d use to describe myself…until now.

I’ve been feeling really sexy, lately. Nothing’s changed, I’ve just been trying to be sexy.

You see, I live in a mythical place called Los Angeles, where you can’t even grab a lavender matcha oat milk latte or a $22 cocktail without seeing one of the sexiest people you’ve ever seen in your life. I don’t mean celebrities—though they do tend to have, like, 5 million followers—I mean regular people that make you blush and stutter when you make eye contact.

Now, I pride myself on, at the very least, looking well-dressed and put-together whenever I go out—in addition to attractive, cute, and sometimes hot—but, the idea of being able to stop someone in their tracks when they see me because I’m just so irresistible has become a real goal of mine. Why? Maybe a subconscious desire to “prove” to Gen Z that you don’t dry up and turn into a goblin when you hit 30 (or 32, as the case may be). Or maybe because I’m single and down to my last dating app before I put up a billboard of myself like Angelyne but for love instead of fame. Whatever the reason, I wanna be sexy, damnit! But, I learned long ago that my idea of sexy is not just short and tight and showing as much as possible. I find it sexy on other people, but it just doesn’t really resonate with me like it once did, and, perhaps, it doesn’t resonate with you either.

I’ve pinpointed four major principles that, in theory, may seem obvious, but in practice, have helped me forge my own unique path to sexiness that both embraces and subverts expectations…at least, I think so.

Skin

I’ve written before about how I’m not really a fan of showing off my legs: basically, I have scars on my legs that I prefer to hide, either with long skirts or tall boots, with short skirts reserved for hot weather or when I want to cut a rug. Basically, for me, going short is for practicality, meaning it’s not really something I do to feel sexy, nor is that really the way I’ve set up my wardrobe. In fact, I don’t really like showing a lot of skin at all…except…