17 years ago, when I was 14, I had an open wound on my leg that would not heal, that hurt so bad that I struggled to walk, and that ultimately lead to me being hospitalized with an infection that we were lucky hadn’t turned septic.
I have varicose veins, quite prominent on both shins, calves and lower thighs, which I also used to disguise (I prefer that term over “hide”). I have grown to realize that most people don’t actually notice them like I do, and that has given me the freedom to just say “fuck it” and show my legs.
I love that you are so artful with your disguises- your outfits are beautiful! I really enjoyed your article, thank you!💕
I'm also disabled and chronically ill, and I have found that personal style lets me have control over my body even on days when I'm unable to control the rest of me. If I'm having a bad pain day, I may not be able to control how I feel, but I can put on a pretty dress or a luxurious robe to lounge and nap. I recently had surgery, and I bought several beautiful nightgowns for my recovery period so I could be comfortable AND feel good about how I looked.
I get infusions every few weeks and I recently invested in some amazing caftans to wear while I get them! It's so true that that element of control makes things feel so much less...bad. And, thank you! My boot collection is truly my most prized possession(s), lol.
I've noticed your boot thing, but I thought it was just your boot thing; a style signature! I guess it is! :)
I have a spinal cord injury that won't let me wear heels (unless they're quite chunky and preferably on boots for stability.) It's been interesting to work around, because my feet just kind of slip out of things like ballet flats, which were a fave. Thank god mary janes came back in so I could pick those up for dressy looks!
Good post! I think most of us have some challenge to work around when we dress, and when people say, "It doesn't matter that you don't like your abdomen or your upper arms, who cares? Show them off," are pretty unhelpful, honestly. Because I do care.
Thank you for breaking down how to think through this process systematically! I was born without my right pectoralis major, and from the time I hit puberty, I have had a large asymmetry in size between my left and right breasts. I know, I know, folks will tell you "they're sisters, but not twins!", but there's a difference between that and one side currently being 8 cup sizes larger than the other.
For most of my adult life, I have worn a mastectomy prosthesis not-so-affectionately known to breast cancer survivors and trans women as a "chicken cutlet." But after my most recent, medically scary pregnancy, most days "don't feel self-conscious" is a lower priority on the list than "don't feel sweaty" or "don't feel weighed down" or "don't put an extra layer between the nipple and the babies." Cue discovering new ways to be comfortable with my appearance by trial-and-error. Using my best beloved oversized chambray button-down was a revelation!
At this point, I'm far enough postpartum that the chambray button-down + graphic tee formula is getting a little tired, so I was really happy that you pointed your readers to this post today. I'm definitely going to be thinking and journaling through when I feel least and most comfortable looking lopsided, as well as actively looking for other outfit formulas that let me feel stylish and confident.
This was beautifully written and so insightful. And incredibly timely for me personally following a flare of my own chronic disease, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for talking about this! Getting honest about wanting to hide or distract from parts of our bodies is really helpful. I’ve done this both for medical reasons and non-medical ones, and often discourse on style doesn’t address this seriously.
I have varicose veins, quite prominent on both shins, calves and lower thighs, which I also used to disguise (I prefer that term over “hide”). I have grown to realize that most people don’t actually notice them like I do, and that has given me the freedom to just say “fuck it” and show my legs.
I love that you are so artful with your disguises- your outfits are beautiful! I really enjoyed your article, thank you!💕
This was really beautiful, Lakyn!
I'm also disabled and chronically ill, and I have found that personal style lets me have control over my body even on days when I'm unable to control the rest of me. If I'm having a bad pain day, I may not be able to control how I feel, but I can put on a pretty dress or a luxurious robe to lounge and nap. I recently had surgery, and I bought several beautiful nightgowns for my recovery period so I could be comfortable AND feel good about how I looked.
Also, your boots are adorable!
I get infusions every few weeks and I recently invested in some amazing caftans to wear while I get them! It's so true that that element of control makes things feel so much less...bad. And, thank you! My boot collection is truly my most prized possession(s), lol.
I've noticed your boot thing, but I thought it was just your boot thing; a style signature! I guess it is! :)
I have a spinal cord injury that won't let me wear heels (unless they're quite chunky and preferably on boots for stability.) It's been interesting to work around, because my feet just kind of slip out of things like ballet flats, which were a fave. Thank god mary janes came back in so I could pick those up for dressy looks!
Good post! I think most of us have some challenge to work around when we dress, and when people say, "It doesn't matter that you don't like your abdomen or your upper arms, who cares? Show them off," are pretty unhelpful, honestly. Because I do care.
Thank you for breaking down how to think through this process systematically! I was born without my right pectoralis major, and from the time I hit puberty, I have had a large asymmetry in size between my left and right breasts. I know, I know, folks will tell you "they're sisters, but not twins!", but there's a difference between that and one side currently being 8 cup sizes larger than the other.
For most of my adult life, I have worn a mastectomy prosthesis not-so-affectionately known to breast cancer survivors and trans women as a "chicken cutlet." But after my most recent, medically scary pregnancy, most days "don't feel self-conscious" is a lower priority on the list than "don't feel sweaty" or "don't feel weighed down" or "don't put an extra layer between the nipple and the babies." Cue discovering new ways to be comfortable with my appearance by trial-and-error. Using my best beloved oversized chambray button-down was a revelation!
At this point, I'm far enough postpartum that the chambray button-down + graphic tee formula is getting a little tired, so I was really happy that you pointed your readers to this post today. I'm definitely going to be thinking and journaling through when I feel least and most comfortable looking lopsided, as well as actively looking for other outfit formulas that let me feel stylish and confident.
This was beautifully written and so insightful. And incredibly timely for me personally following a flare of my own chronic disease, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for talking about this! Getting honest about wanting to hide or distract from parts of our bodies is really helpful. I’ve done this both for medical reasons and non-medical ones, and often discourse on style doesn’t address this seriously.
Thank you for getting this vulnerable with us. This post (like all your posts) is really well-written.