I F*cking Hate All My Clothes

What to do when your wardrobe sucks.

You have plans to go to a cowboy-themed rooftop bar in the most pseudo-celeb-studded part of Hollywood with a friend and, try as you might, none of your fringe skirts go with any of your sexy tops and neither of them go with your cowboy boots and you should’ve ordered your Uber 15 minutes ago but you’re just sitting on the floor by your closet slowly getting upset by the idea that all your clothes—and, by extension, you—are stupid.

This specific scenario has, of course, happened to everyone—probably multiple times, since the dawn of time: sometimes, you just hate all your f*cking clothes. But, what happens next? Most of us aren’t wealthy enough to just impulsively buy a whole new wardrobe whenever we get the itch—and even if we were, we’d just end up in the same spot six months later simply because impulsive and rushed purchases are rarely fulfilling in the long term.

Luckily, introspection is free! Here’s how I got over it.

1. Pinpoint the Problem

In my work as a stylist, I’ve come to realize there’s two kinds of people in the world—or, at least, that hire me: those who shop by piece vs. those who shop by outfit. Unfortunately, leaning too heavily to one side, either left with a bunch of stuff that doesn’t match or a bunch of stuff that only matches in a very specific way without much room for mixing or matching which, naturally, leads to boredom. You may not have “nothing to wear” in the literal sense, of course, but having nothing that inspires you is functionally the same.

Look at the big picture: do you “hate your clothes” because you’re finding your individual pieces hard to style—even though you like them very much? What pieces are the hardest to style? Do you have a consistent color palette, or enough neutrals/versatile colors? Do you have a healthy balance of “basics” vs. statement pieces? Or—and this one can be a doozy—are you trying to create something out of your wardrobe that just isn’t you?

2. Let Go

I have to confess, the cowboy-themed rooftop story was about me. I know, it’s shocking—not that I was going to a cowboy-themed rooftop (I am from Texas, after all), but that I, as someone who literally helps people with their wardrobes, can struggle with my wardrobe (though I’ll admit, most of my struggle is due to recent body changes I wrote about previously).

Sometimes wardrobe struggles aren’t about your clothes: they’re about your image. Or, rather, the image you want to project.

For as long as I’ve been dressing myself, I’ve dressed different. I don’t dress particularly weird, but I typically don’t look like everyone else around me, especially in LA, where my affinity for long skirts is in direct opposition to the jeans and minis I’m surrounded with. Usually, I’m fine with it: I’m in my 30s, now, I have no reason to try to chase someone else’s ideal of who I should be. But, every so often, I’ll be going somewhere—somewhere where the “scene” is entirely different than where I normally hang out, and this desire to sort of “fit in,” will creep up.

All of a sudden, you’re not just worried about looking cute, you’re worried about looking cool. Maybe the vibe is sexier than your usual, or more sporty, or younger. You go through seemingly every piece in your wardrobe twice and, for the life of you, you just can’t get it right and now you hate all your clothes.

Let it go. Tell that voice that’s telling you your outfits aren’t ________________ enough to shut the hell up, and just dress like you. I know, sometimes that’s easier said than done, so, I recommend having some go-tos that always make you feel fantastic. Who cares if everyone else is in jeans and a tee if your yellow slip dress makes you feel radiant? Who cares if everyone there is in Mom jeans and sneakers if your skinny jeans and stilettos are how you’re most comfortable? Not to be cliché, but there is nothing that looks better on you than confidence.

3. Seek Inspiration

I’ve said it a million times: Pinterest gets a bad rep and almost all of it comes from misuse. The point of fashion inspiration is not to imitate it, it’s to adapt to your needs. When I’m seeking moodboard photos for clients, I break outfits down to their elements: don’t worry about the colors, don’t worry about the prints or the exact pieces, but look at what it is. You probably don’t have that exact Miu Miu mini skirt, but maybe you have a different skirt you could style with a cropped sweater and button up for the same look that we all got sick of last year. I’ve written before about how to “copy” a look,” and it pretty much comes down to four things: fit, proportions, texture, and details. Simply searching “(item you own) + outfits” can yield pages and pages of ways to style things that you never even thought of.

4. Experiment

Do not underestimate the value of just trying stuff on. I don’t mean right before you have to go somewhere, or even with a particular goal in mind: just put on some music or a good background movie (I made a Spotify playlist specifically for this) and play around in your clothes. Put together random combinations, tie things up, get into your accessories, whatever. Even the smallest wardrobes have something that can be uncovered. And, while you’re at it, really look at the pieces you have and what you clearly gravitate toward and feel the best in and make an effort in the future to expand around them. No, you do not have “too many” T-shirts or tall boots or corduroy pants if you genuinely like and wear them all: focus on them. What goes best with those specific things? What are your outfit formulas and how can you elevate them?

5. Fill Some Gaps

Introspection doesn’t solve everything, I know: sometimes, you really do need new clothes. But, unless you truly cannot wear anything you already have, usually, you can get plenty of mileage out of adding just a couple of pieces, rather than overhauling your entire wardrobe.

I personally keep a running list of all the things I could really use to fill in my own wardrobe gaps, along with what I could wear with them. As a printed silk blouse lover, for example, I finally made the decision to add two skirts with which I could wear them all: one black, and one khaki. I know I just described what a basic is, but, it’s important to note: I already had plenty of black skirts. A basic is more than just the color and item you pick: when you are looking to fill gaps, pay close attention to the silhouette, the fit, and the fabric as well. Linen capris don’t fill the same gap as a cotton twill trouser; a cropped button up won’t fill the same gap as an oversized one; even a black pointy toe pump may not have as much use as a black round toe one, for you. Just avoid pieces that are “almost right”: you’ll hate it over time.