I said in another comment that it brings joy when someone expresses a generous thought about how I present. But please don't touch me. There's appreciation and there's objectifying. I've experienced way too much of the latter. When strangers feel compelled to touch my bald head, feel the fabric of my clothes, lift my hands to inspect my manicure, they are engaging is something separate from complimenting. It's historical within the context of an oppressive history. Recently at the National Gallery a man left his group, approached me, broke all rules respecting personal space, and asked that I remove my eyewear so that he could see who made them. That goes beyond decorum. That's a show of entitlement. I don't want people to fall at my feet in response to my sartorial choice. "Great dress" is enough. Keep it simple. And don't touch me.
I said in another comment that it brings joy when someone expresses a generous thought about how I present. But please don't touch me. There's appreciation and there's objectifying. I've experienced way too much of the latter. When strangers feel compelled to touch my bald head, feel the fabric of my clothes, lift my hands to inspect my manicure, they are engaging is something separate from complimenting. It's historical within the context of an oppressive history. Recently at the National Gallery a man left his group, approached me, broke all rules respecting personal space, and asked that I remove my eyewear so that he could see who made them. That goes beyond decorum. That's a show of entitlement. I don't want people to fall at my feet in response to my sartorial choice. "Great dress" is enough. Keep it simple. And don't touch me.
This is extremely timely. I’m in the beginning throes of a wardrobe update, so this feels affirming.